Thursday, October 29, 2009

Good Parents Don't Allow Their Children To Scream In Public!

Something that I regularly see happening in our society truly disturbs me. It's parents who allow their children to scream bloody-murder in public. The reason this annoys me goes way beyond the piercing high-pitched temper tantrums that create a lingering buzz inside the ears of all who felt obligated to listen to it until they could escape from the restaurant, grocery store check-out or wherever else the little monster was throwing his/her fit.

It's simply NOT in the child's best interest for parents to allow them to make loud noises in public. PUBLIC TANTRUMS TEACH CHILDREN:
  • Social ineptness (completely disregarding the feelings of others means the child will have difficulty maintaining lasting friendships and/or excelling later in career)
  • Bad manners (People adore well-behaved children and respond with good mojo to those that act with decorum. Spoiled brats, however, just generate a lot of negative juju all the way around and that social feedback is damaging to the child!)
  • Selfishness (teaching no self control or personal restraint means the child will seriously lack personal initiative and responsibility later in life).
  • Socailly inept (not realizing other people have a right NOT to hear your brat scream)
  • Rude (good manners requires teaching your children to behave in public. A good parent also sets the example for treating others with kindness and courtesy.)
  • Selfish and lazy. Being a good parent takes work. It sometimes means you must walk your screaming child out to the car until s/he settles down. Being allowed to mingle in public is a privilege and children should be taught such!
Hopefully those parents who think they are just allowing their children to "express themselves" by misbehaving in public will instead learn to give that child a paint-brush. Let art, music, singing and dance be the modes most encouraged for self expression. Bad behavior just hurts everybody and helps not a soul.

The time to be your child's friend is when that child is an adult and fully independent. While you are raising a child, your highest obligation as a parent is to GUIDE and protect them (from the limits of selfishness as well as from potentially dangerous strangers). To help a child see the big picture, to consider how others around them feel, THAT is the parent's responsibility. Teaching such will help a child soar through adolescence and young adulthood.


Panademona said...

I'm glad you brought this up. I am absolutely appalled by how many parents act these days. However, in my experience in retail I must say that it is not the screaming itself I found so offensive but the way parents give in to their children's screaming by buying them chocolate or mcdonalds food or whatever the child's little heart desires! A child needs to be taught restraint. No one can have everything they want. I certainly remember that in my childhood no meant no!

On the flip side I have also seen flustered parents around Christmas time telling very well behaved children that they were too expensive or not worth anything. This I also found to be problematic and I hope these parents apologized to these children later and told them that they had made a mistake. Parents should not take out there problems on their children. If they cannot afford to buy something for a well-behaved child I believe that they should just tell the child they haven't got enough money and not put them blame on the child.

Arawn Graalrd said...

Hmmm, there may be an opportunity, there. The parents that look lazy, are likely overwhelmed by their social ineptitude. Helping them to be better bad parents is probably the way to go... How to play well, with the people who raise your children for you, until they can play well, with those whose children they'll be helping raise in turn, or something like that. How to sell such a ministry, is the challenge.

Arawn Graalrd

SunTiger said...

Pandemona ~ Cruelty towards children should never be tolerated. I think if I had overheard a parent tell a well behaved child that they were not "worth it" that I would simply volunteer to adopt the child. Right then. Right there. On the spot. "I do believe your child is worth it and I'd be happy to arrange for their well-being." (It would be very difficult to not walk away without calling that parent a dumb-ass!)

Arawn ~ Or we could all just agree to remind the parents that there is a noise ordinance and the police might just come to correct their child since they will not. (I'm not into pampering misbehaving parents any more than I'm into spoiling an already misbehaving child.)


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