Monday, May 4, 2009

Spirit Fill Me {{Missing You, Dad}} . . .

14 years ago today, my dad passed away. He truly was the best possible dad; ever. All of life seems to have lost security and love since he made that transition from the flesh into spirit.

I will definitely be putting my hands into the garden soil in his honor today (a retired shop teacher, Boeing employee and later a long-shoreman, he was an avid gardener). He used to pull weeds by first digging under them with a shovel to loosen the soil and he'd pull the full plant and root out together/throw it into a bucket to add to the compost pile; later. I weed just like him.

His thick and calloused hands were so rough from yard work and yet, whenever I was hurt or had a headache - his gentle touch could make any kind of physical pain go away.

Nobody has ever been quite that good of a friend to me (not throughout my lifetime -- but my husband Doug is really starting to become that kind of trusted friend for me). Dad was always there when I needed him.

I pursue connections with him often . . . and sometimes he shows up spontaneously: I feel him when I tilt my head the same way he used to always do it. I felt his presence on Friday when I was in my Native Plant Society class studying botany . . . he thought the lecture was interesting.

Still: I miss hugging him, hearing his laughter and sitting around listening to his endless stories which taught so much wisdom for life. Some day, I shall join him in spirit. For now: I really miss hanging out with my dad and planning new projects together with him, my nearly perfect dad.

8 comments:

Panademona said...

Dads are very special. I know I love mine very much. It is wonderful you remember yours with such love in your heart.

Fijufic said...

I think this is perhaps the best post you have ever written. I could feel the connection instantly.

He will always be with you. Simply beautiful.

Love,
Bobby

Arawn Graalrd said...

My little sister died in '89, and now seems to be an epileptic transvestite changeling in Huston, named James. That's rather quick, to be meeting someone again.

Have you heard anything of a biowar in Worcester? It seems to be a closely guarded secret.

Arawn

SunTiger said...

Panademona ~ I loved him as much back when he was still alive. It's not some fabricated memory that passage of time has made sweeter. I'm glad you to know you're close to your father too. :D

Fijufic ~ Yay. {Glad you liked it.}

Arawn ~ Your post made me laugh (thank you for that). I have NOT heard of a "biowar in Worcester."

Hibiscus Moon said...

That is so very sweet. I don't have a realtionship like that with my father so its amazing to me to hear when others do. I can't say I wish I had it b/c I honestly don't know what I'm missing, but I am very happy for you that you have that. He sounds like a wonderful man.

That photo of you is gorgeous. Beautiful Lady.

Arawn Graalrd said...

Do a Google Search of Worcester, Asian Longhorn Beetle, Norwegian Maple. That's Worcester as in, "Wha's dis here sauce." I'm amazed that a plague can be fought so quietly. I don't hear about it down in Connecticut. It's turning out to be more serious than our seasonal flu.

Some lady in Seattle, a Certified Engineer of Organization, just blew up with Mystic Academy, in Second Life. (I think we may have to deal with the way Europa screams at people.) Anyways, Bruising Experiences are best exploited with something like the practice of Sangraal. Shall I direct her to the Chicken Lady of Auburn?

You might like to read The Cabala, before you come out east. It might be fun, to get it autographed by the late author...

Arawn Graalrd

Spiral Dancer said...

A lovely moving post on honor of your Dad, I was actually tearful the first time I read it through. I am sure he is very, very proud of you. Mine passed ten years ago in Feb..I still wonder what I could have done to make it a better relationship, it was a difficult one. Anyway certain things happened as he was passing and it was me he sent a sign too, I have better insights now than when I was young and hurting. Your dad sounds like he was a very special man, I get his energy just from your words and descriptions of body language and his knowledge and love of the earth.

SunTiger said...

Hibiscus Moon ~ You are so kind (to like my photo). I am fond of that snapshot because it was taken while I was dancing in the moonlight at my best friend's cabin wedding. The whole weekend felt very spiritual to me: so it was a blessing and I felt blessed to be captured in the photo when I felt so vibrant.

Arawn ~ I know all about beetles who invade and kill blessed trees (destroyers, they are). Grrrrrr. I don't quite understand anything else you commented about tho.

Spiral Dancer ~ the painful parental relationships (and I have one such as you describe) form the irregular bonds that force us to grow; self examine and evolve the most spiritually, intellectually and emotionally. For difficult relationships: I am thankful. They force me to realize who I am and what are my boundaries. Thank you for your comments.

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