Thursday, January 15, 2009


Last night, I woke up feeling very chilled. Yet soon as I checked in, mentally, with my body, I realized I was fully covered in gooey sweat. I have been feeling very healthy, lately. In fact, I went on a 2.5 mile very brisk walk yesterday morning and soon as the sun came out I performed such physically grueling shovel-work in the garden (transplanting a much too-large bush to a much more desirable area where I could let the flowering shrub grow tall and wide this summer and not have to prune it).

This night-sweat thing has never really happened to me before, at least, not that I consciously remember. So I just lay there, in my thick winter jammies, trying very hard to send comforting messages to my body while I also felt very thankful and full of anticipation: “Maybe this night marks the obvious start of Menopause!”

I’ve been looking forward to going through this big “life transition” for a long while and had honestly felt disappointed to realize my biological mother did not experience menopause until she was 52 (that would suggest another 5-year wait for me if I followed in her footsteps).

Amazingly, as I continued to sweat all night long, my mind entertained all sorts of crazy thoughts. First, I felt a tad repulsed and did NOT want my spouse to touch me. [That revelation seemed odd because, as a nationally certified massage therapist, I have worked on way too many women during their hot flashes and while their sudden rush of body fluid totally grossed me out, as their medical care provider, the patient seemed to be not bothered by it at all.]

Another thought that crossed my mind was facing the day when I no longer have my period. Unlike most women, who have been socialized to loath “that time of the month” I’ve repeatedly embraced it as a reassurance that {thank the gods} I was not pregnant. I’ve also regarded menstruation as a very magical thing . . . due to everything I know about spell work and Goddess energy. One powerful and inspiring artist I learned about honestly uses her menstrual blood to paint masterpieces on canvas. I’ve always admired her bravery – and felt inspired to feel just as bold: “I am woman. Hear me roar.” {Big tiger growl.}

Perhaps the biggest reason why I look forward to “drying up” and entering the crone-state of being – is I that I now feel I have tangible permission to focus on myself for a change. As young women, we first put most of our energy on attracting a mate, then on birthing our children, then on being the best parent possible. Now that I’m perimenopausal, I’m realizing: “THIS IS MY TIME!” I finally have permission, physically, to go inward and give time and energy to ME!

Hot flashes (heat) puts me in deep connection with powerful element of fire, that which provides enthusiasm and creativity. Fire purifies and warms while it also has power to destroy that which is no longer needed or desired. Now, as I gain permission to connect more deeply with Salamanders (Fire Faeries/see image/click on it to see original source) I embrace life with a new firey passion.


becomingkate said...

I am not looking forward to hot flashes at all! Being without a cycle will be nice though.

SunTiger said...

This being my "first" it was not so bad. I sure wouldn't want to be wearing a business suit and experience such onrush of body fluid though. My gawd I hope that never happens.

I understand, in indigenous cultures, where women eat "wild yam" they never experience hot flashes (no matter how old and wrinkled they get). Therefore -- I am certainly going to add "wild yam" to my diet. {We herb and vegetable caretakers have our ways with making food be our medicine!}

Fijufic said...

Mabel has been doing that routine for the last year and I feel sorry for her...(hope you are okay).

Love the bear on the beach story. I can't imagine. I'd rather hang with the sharks...

SunTiger said...

Fijufic ~ by "bear on the beach" . . . you're referring to a comment I left on your blog. (To my readers, Bobby said he feared meeting a bear on his beach and I replied that I'd seen a grizzly on an Alaska beach while fishing from a commercial vessel there in Bristol Bay. At the time I had repeatedly crossed myself out of gratitude for the reality that we were a ways off shore. That hungry-looking bear was MONSTROUS!")

greeneyes67 said...

I read about that artist too! I have a book with a collection of rituals by many women. "Naming the Goddess" comes to mind. I'm not sure that's the one though. Now I want to find it! My books are packed :( That was an interesting story. And empowering!

I was having hot flashes until I stopped eating so much sugar and caffeine. Now I don't seem to be experiencing them. But I'm looking forward to my monthly period going away. I have always had heavy cycles and I'm anemic so it's always a time to get lots of iron and I get really lethargic.

Good luck with the dieting ST! Yes, we will both encourage each other to have those hot bodies we deserve :)

Panademona said...

Every stage of our lives is special. To enter the "crone-state" as you call it is something very special indeed. This time in your life many people will look on you for the great wisdom you hold from all your life experiences. This seems a good cause to celebrate. :-)

Have a wonderful day!

Prince NaKi said...

nice blogs , i've learned

SunTiger said...

Greeneyes67 ~ I value you for the high level of energy you bring to every comment and e-encounter. {Thank you!}

Panademona ~ Since I now have a head cold, I'm wondering if the desired "night sweat" was merely about fighting off an infection instead of marking my life transition. {Gads.} What's more -- those women who become WISE with the change are seemingly far and few in between these days because of the way in which society has demeaned and beaten us down as a gender. May we begin to all empower one another: take back our truth.

Prince NaKi ~ Thank you for stopping by.

Panademona said...

i have faith times are changing.

SunTiger said...

Panademona ~ And it's changing, due to a large part, to the Internet. Yayness.


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